Update!!!

The surgery went wonderfully! I was a little sore for about two days but after that I felt great! When we got to the hospital we signed in and went straight back to pre-op and started getting ready. Everyone is so nice and friendly, I love the surgeons and nurses and they all did an incredible job. I've made so many friends there in the hospital and the clinic is like my second family. On another note my hair is growing exceptionally fast. I almost have full eyebrows and by the end of next month I will have what looks like a buzz cut. I get stronger everyday and I'm so excited for what's to come this year, lots of trips, recovery, and, different hairstyles! Thank you for the prayers, Much Love, and God Bless.

Positive Thinking

I am happy to start the post by saying that my CT scan has come back 100% clear!! Wednesday was a full day of appointments, first was the scan. When we got there they started an iv because I was getting a CT with contrast, after that they took us to a seat and I had an hour to drink two bottles of "mixed berry" contrast. It was awful. The appointment took longer than expected but the actual scan took about 10 minutes. Afterwards we were already late for our appointment with the clinic so we called and went to meet with make a wish. The meeting was great and it was very quick, so we went to the clinic and got the news that the CT was clear. It was a long day with an early start so when I finally went to sleep, I slept very good. The past two weeks mom has been telling me I was getting a surprise package Thursday. So finally it was Thursday and I'm awoken by mom at around ten and she said "Aubrey your package is here!" so I set up and she leaves my room saying she will bring it in there. Three seconds later my aunt lala comes walking in my room! She lives in Utah and I only see her once a year in the summer. It was a great reunion and I cant believe she's here. Today I went to the endocrinologist and after talking to the doctor they decided I will be going on birth control for 6 to 9 months. I don't want to go into detail but its to help with the hot flashes and help with my estrogen levels. The surgery to get my port taken out is Wednesday morning and I am so excited!Thank you for all the prayers and support throughout this journey. Prayer is a powerful thing and it has helped me very much. Please keep praying and God bless!

Finding the New Normal

  I'm here to say that your life will never be the same again. It will never be what you used to consider "normal", you will have to find your new normal. I myself am doing just that; finding my new normal. It isn't easy, as a matter of fact it is the opposite of easy. I wasn't the kind of person who had anxiety very often...but now, post cancer Aubrey has anxiety about several things. I am constantly tired but it takes me forever to get to sleep at night. I was pretty active before, I clogged once a week, I walked everyday, and every once in a while I did yoga (very rarely). Now stretching feels like an intense workout. I've officially gotten up off the floor on my own three times, which is easy for most people but if you have had any kind of intense chemo then you know that your muscles do not stay the same. I cant do things that I did before, I cant go shopping, I cant dance, I cant play with my dog a lot. I miss being active. I also miss my hair and its not like I don't enjoy being bald because there are perks of having your head shaved. I don't have to wash my hair all the time (which was a big hassle), I don't have to worry about styling my hair. But if we are being totally honest here, it kind of sucks being a young girl and bald. I've gotten used to being stared at or hearing people say something about my wig because its not a regular hair color and I understand why people do those things, I mean it's not everyday that you see a girl my age that's bald. But there have been plenty of blessings that have come out of this experience. I have lots of new friends including; the doctors and nurses that I've had, my new friend that is battling Hodgkin's lymphoma, and even the lady who came up to me in acropolis (a restaurant) and said that she fought cancer too and she understood what I was going through. She also said that she just had to stop and tell me that I was brave. Whatever you are going through just remember; it is not in your control and it never will be, and there will always be someone going through something worse than you. Everything that you go through in your life whether its good or bad it is all in God's plan. I know that for some people it's hard giving up control, but God says to give Him all your problems, to trust Him, and to let Him take care of the rest. My mom always says, "Let go and let God". I'm so blessed to have such a wonderful life, loving family, and great friends. In the end hair grows back, scars heal, and muscles regain their strength.  You find out who is really their for you, you learn things about your body that you didn't know before, and you might even leave with a new or slightly different perspective on life. I'm not done with this fight but when I am I want to be an advocate for children who have been or will be diagnosed with any form of cancer. Your cancer buddy, Aubrey.

The Journey So Far...

  I began chemo in September, there were 5, 21 day cycles and each round was different. On the first one I threw up every day I had chemo, after the chemo days were over I ended up being admitted to the hospital with a fever for 5 days. The next round was a little better, considering the fact I didn't have to go to the hospital. Unfortunately, the third round did not go so well. While I did not throw up on the chemo days, I did have a terrible bout of wreching and (I hate to talk about it) diarrhea. Because of that I ended up in the hospital again for a total of 6 days. The last two rounds were pretty similar, throwing up, lots of sleep, and MISERY. In some cases it gets easier towards the end but in my case it got harder. My doctors almost had to postpone my last round because my counts were low, nevertheless I got to start my chemo and keep it on schedule. After the last round I went to the hospital for 10 days. I finished chemo and was out of the hospital the Sunday before Christmas. I feel very blessed by the fact that I wasn't in the hospital during Christmas and I know that there were a lot of children and their families that were not as fortunate in that way. I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas and is enjoying the new year. Your new cancer buddy, Aubrey.